As of late, Ive been afraid to let go of things that I know are holding me back. It’s almost insane the way I torture myself. I know the things that need to be done, or rather the things that I shouldn’t be doing (I think thats improper english). There are a few things but my major self-torture is working retail.
I work retail to help me survive until my next modeling or acting check comes in, but lately, I’ve felt a piece of my soul crumble every time I clock-in. I hate it. I hate the drive to work. I hate the lighting of the place. I even get upset at customers for even coming in the store. Fortunately, and unfortunately, I enjoy my co-workers. I feel obligated to my manager the most. She helped me out when I first moved to Miami and has been very supportive of me and my career. And I hate that too. I hate that I feel that way about her.
So, why should I stay? I’ve been booking jobs like crazy. Modeling jobs every week, and promising acting gigs on the horizon. Why should I keep making that horrible drive? When I could be working out, or sending out my resume, checking out a play/movie or shaving my chest hair, anything but trying to convince a lady that she should buy a $2,000 necklace that was made in China for less than $5.
*Sigh* All in still, I’ll be at work tomorrow. On time.