A Dream Unfulfilled

photo 4 The motivational speaker Les brown once said, when we lie on our death bed, we are haunted by the ghost of dreams unfulfilled. I truly believe all of my current goals and aspirations I still have time to accomplish. However, one ghost is haunting me even though I’m alive as ever. That is the ghost of my football career.

I started playing football when I was 8. I even remember my first time being hit. I played my way into 20+ scholarship offers coming out of high school from schools like Notre Dame, Boston College, Mississippi St, and ultimately chose to play for the legendary coach, Joe Paterno at Penn State. I ended my career at Glenville State College in West Virgina and, played in my last official game in a college all-star game in 2010.

MICHAEL FERNANDEZ/The Patriot-NewsRecently, a friend of mine challenged me through text.”What if your why is to fulfill your unfulfilled dream of the NFL?” The thought scared me, excited me and brought me shame. Scared me because it could happen. Excited me because it could happen. Shamed me because I could try, but I know I probably won’t.

Football to me, is like an ex-girlfriend. That one girl you vowed to never go back to. The one you “moved” on from but still run into from time to time, only to see she’s doing better than ever. But you on the other hand haven’t found any relationship that even came close.

I miss the game. I miss the smell of freshly cut grass and even the smell of my sweaty equipment. I miss the challenge of outworking the next person and knowing the best person would play. I don’t miss the car-crash like collisions but I kind of do.

photo 1For now, I’ll live with this ghost. I can bare the hauntings. I love football but just like that ex, sometimes you just don’t want to get hurt like that again.

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