20DD

This year has been odd for me. Not bad, not good, but odd.

I accomplished some major goals: I walked in NYFW, and I booked my first ever SAG national job as a principal character. I traveled to Colombia, Oregon, and Maine for the first time. But I didn’t accomplish any of the goals I set out to accomplish this year. I also, for the first time in my life, lost someone very close to me through death. I’m not saddened by it, but it’s a new feeling, I guess. But, I did cry when Prince died earlier this year.

I’m currently, experiencing the lowest financial season through modeling, but at the same time, possibly the most lucrative year in my life. I had to choose between a kick in the nuts or a punch in the stomach aka VOTE. I chipped my front tooth eating an apple, I tried juicing ( lasted almost 48 hours), I own (leased) my first luxury car, and I recently became an Uncle for the second time. I also started taking Krav Mama classes.

This year has been unlike any other. It has seemed like a long year that went by slowly, quickly. Like a river thats calm on the surface, but has a strong under current. We still have almost two months left, and I’m cautiously excited, at least right now.

SELF-ishness

Webster defines Selfish as, “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” We are raised to believe that being selfish is wrong. I believe greed is wrong. Robbery and murder are wrong. But putting yourself first; your happiness and pleasing yourself FIRST, is not wrong.

On the contrary we are taught that being SELF-less is ok. Taking your own emotions, benefits and overall well-being out of the equation for the “greater good” of a situation, is ok. We are told that sacrificing our happiness is noble and commendable. With the exceptions of a parent to a child, when has this ever benefited anyone? Never. When has making yourself less happy made you feel good about yourself. Never. Think about how many people you know that would be better off is they were more about self (selfish) instead of less about self (selfless)We all know that athlete, actor, friend, uncle, who tried to bring everybody along and wanted share his happiness because they were taught to put their “greater good” second.

We may believe we commit “selfless acts” daily. However, we are essentially “paying it forward”, hoping to get something in return. Whether your giving to the homeless man or holding a door for a lady. Your hoping to be blessed in return for helping the less fortunate, and your most definitely holding that door to look at that lady’s butt. My point is, when was the last time you’ve consciously been selfish for your “greater good“? When was the last time you treated yourself for your “greater good“? We go daily suppressing our own happiness and trying our best to make the world happy. Well let me tell you, happiness is in the heart of the beholder. If you are making an effort daily to love yourself and make yourself happy, your world will be happy. You’ll surround yourself with happiness because you will know what happiness looks like because you look at it in the mirror.

Take yourself on a date. Go to the park and read a book after work. Go find a swing and swing til you can’t stop thinking about the freedom of when you were a child. Life is hard enough. Bills, war, gas prices, poverty, taxes and on and on are all facts that we can’t control but our HAPPINESS is solely dependent on you being more SELFISH.

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